postsecrets.

I've realized recently how many postsecrets I can relate to. It's kinda of sad and probably a little unhealthy that I go out looking for ones that make me feel like I'm not alone in my thoughts. Here are a few...

That is all for now.

Since Mike is Gone...

I figured I should update my blog for him on the off chance he remembers this exists.

My day started with waking up pretty early then going back to bed like most days. Though today was a tad different, I had to call Mike to get him up for his 9am flight to Houston. It was nice hearing his half coherent voice while he was still in the state. I'm going to miss that. When I finally really woke up Mike was boarding the plane so I decided to start to clean my closet but got really bored after about 5 minutes and went back to reading my book (that I'm not so big of a fan of). For some reason when I'm in a weird =/ mood I like to read and just use it as a way to escape, it sounds stupid but true, whatever. Also, while reading I was able to ice my eyes to get most of the puffyness out! SCORE!

After reading for about a billion years (or until Mike landed) I got up and had ice cream for breakfast, I'm so healthy I know (hopefully I will be soon, I feel like a diet is needed now). Then I went outside to talk to my mom for a bit and got a little sun burnt (which actually isn't so bad right now) then got into the shower to wipe all the sweat off. After that I just straightened up the house and got ready for my cousin's baseball game and got called names. Awesome.

I drove mom and myself to Grandma's and from there Grandma drove us to the game which was about an hour away. The game was awesome, my little cousin's team lost but I got to watch him score plus he was catching most of the game so I was a happy little lady. After the game Grandpa "borrowed" me and we drove to dinner (that none of us were really hungry for) but made a pit stop to the bridal shop before hand as a joke to try to get me married off. He keeps making weird wedding jokes at me that make me uncomfy and piss Grandma off. I don't know how to take any of it.

Dinner was weird and boring. Found out that Tracy is officially suing Grandpa, Grandma, and the company (like official, official as in they got the papers served to them by the sheriff). That kind of stuff just makes them so upset, I hate it. They deserve to be happy for the most part and I wish this thing would just get settled or someone could tell Marc and Tracy that they are complete assholes and take the kids away from them. Its sad that I'll probably never see my little cousins grow up, that means a lot to me. BLAH! After dinner I tried to cheer Grandpa up by letting him show me around his old area. He told me stories with way too much TMI like the time he and Grammy painted her bedroom in their underwear and "other stuff happened after" I ALMOST PUKED. But overall I think it was good for him to get his mind off things today.

After our drive we just hung out at his house until Grandma came home and I left for Ellen's. We just hung at her house for a few hours since we were going to see a super late movie. I got to play with the dogs and wear her sweet green hoodie (since her house was freezing!) until we left. The Proposal was an alright movie but wasn't worth $10. Oh well, Oscar from The Office was in it. I'm sick of love stories for awhile though. I think I'll just watch depressing movies or comedies for the next month or so. After the movie we just talked like normal and now I'm hereeeee. I'll probably read for a little bit before bed now, for some reason I can't sleep.

I have lots of stuff on my mind lately.

So, I heard this from a little bird...

That things were different before and I can't help but compare now to then. I don't exactly like how that makes me feel. Angry, sad, upset, foolish, or just plain stupid. I've been noticing the difference recently too, I was just to idiotic to notice it before.

This is getting to be a joke.

Seriously?

Today's Thought.

Today I have realized many things about myself. Here are a few examples...

-I hate smelling like coffee.
-Working for Barnes and Noble is a joke. I'm sick of training people.
-I wish I had a boyfriend down at school.
-If I did I'd either get nothing done or probably break up with him.
-I'd rather have a boyfriend that I could have long, meaningful conversations with as apposed to someone I could just cuddle and be cute with.
-Don't get me wrong, I love cuddling and being cute.
-I miss some of the people I used to have the aforementioned conversations with.
-I get really lonely on Friday and Saturday nights.
-When I only need to rely on myself I put things off until the last minute.
-Otherwise, I love to plan ahead. I can't stand not having a set plan.
-I get excited too easily. That's one reason I hate surprises.
-When I get texts from old friends/boyfriends I get weirded out but eventually still feel loved.
-I have said "I love you" to two boyfriends but as I get older I think I've only meant it once.
-I can't stop cracking my back and knuckles as much as I wish I could.
-I wish I would have saved more money when I was younger.
-I have to many life goals and feel overwhelmed to accomplish all of them.
-One was completed over Spring Break. =]
-Sometimes I function best with very little sleep.
-I get crazy nervous when I have to drive with other people in the car.
-I hate that my freezer at school doesn't freeze my FREEZEPOPS!
-I wish I could eat ice cream everyday of my life.
-I often think about how my life would be different if my dad were still alive.
-I still can't decide if I'll let my step dad dance with me for the father-daughter dance at my wedding.
-I honestly don't know if my mom and I could afford college without the help of my grandpa.
-That previous comment scares the shit out of me.
-So does that idea of influencing people (children) for the rest of my life.
-I would hate if I had a clone. It would make me uncomfortable.
-Chocolate SOY milk is delicious.
-I need to shave my armpits and legs. GROSS, I know.
-I also need to buy summer clothes.
-I have to pee so I'm ending this.

Good night.

This week...

couldn't get anymore stressful. I just want someone to weigh their opinion in so I don't feel like its all on me. Anyone out there want to help?

Also, my tongue still hurts.

Here's something you don't know about me...

I like to listen to Nine Inch Nails when I'm angry. Lately, I've been in a NIN mood.

LOST

I've finally caught up on all of the seasons of LOST (thanks to Ellen =]) and watched this weeks episode, it wasn't as great as I was expecting... Don't get me wrong, I LOVE LOST, but really... the whole time travel thing on the island? Not so much... Any thoughts? Also, I love that "You Found Me" song by The Fray that is the promo for LOST. It was free this week on iTunes, go pick it up! In other news, I've been sick for the past week or so... I still can't taste anything. =/ But my mom and step-dad are coming to ISU this evening to visit me! YAY! School has been tedious already which is kind of annoying. I bought some new music on iTunes last night. The end.

Also, I miss Jason.
This is from like ... 3 years ago. Hahaha.

ISU, have you heard of hot water?

My shower this morning was absolutely freezing. It's not exactly what I wanted to wake up to...

First day of class and I can already tell this semester will be hell.